I Don't Understand

There are many days in Haiti, that it is hard for me to be transparent. I sometimes have a hard time allowing myself to feel. If I must admit, I'm afraid. Sometimes I'm afraid to feel. I'm afraid that if I allow myself to feel here, there will be so much pain, hatred, confusion, anger. Tonight, I want to be transparent with you...

I'm angry and sad. I'm angry that people are born into this poverty. I'm angry that almost 3 years later, many are still living in tents. I'm angry there is a storm approaching and not all the Haitian's even know when or that it's coming. I'm angry, that even if they did know, how do you prepare your tent for a storm.

I'm sad...on Saturday, I helped my friends desperately try to save the life of their beloved brother. I'm sad that he died and that there wasn't anyone around that could do CPR, that there is no 911, and that some of the hospitals wouldn't help, because he was too bad. I'm not even sure, how a hospital can say they are helping people if they won't take those that are fighting to survive. That makes me angry.

I'm angry...Today we found out that only 30% passed their governmental exams. What is that?? How do you have an educational system that doesn't provide funding, requires HORRIBLE curriculum, has no requirements for teaching and makes the students take a test, that NO ONE has any idea what is on! Worse...how can you allow 70% to fail and claim you have a good education system. How can you not even see there is a problem...they label it the students fault. I'm sorry, as a former teacher, if 70% of my students fail...I'm DOING SOMETHING WRONG!!!!

I could go on...

I have had a difficult day today, trying to be positive, trying to keep hope.

I know I need to cling to the word and cling to our Savior, because, I don't understand. WHY?? Yet, I know it's not for me to question.

Isaiah 55: 8-9 says, "I don't think the way you think. The way you work isn't the way I work." God's Decree. For as the sky soars high above earth, so the way I work surpasses the way you work, and the way I think is beyond the way you think." 

12 - 13 continue..."So you'll go out in joy, you'll be led into a whole and complete life. The mountains and hills will lead the parade, bursting with song. All the trees of the forest will join the procession, exuberant with applause.No more thistles, but giant sequoias, no more thornbushes, but stately pines—Monuments to me, to God, living and lasting evidence of God."

I cling to this hope...the only hope I can have...that I won't understand and at the end, It will be worth it. He will receive glory. There will be justice, no more pain, no more sin....

{Wedding Wednesday} - The Ceremony

We had a beautiful ceremony held in my parents yard. Thank you to Creations in Alexandria for helping with the decorations, my brother Chad for helping me with the signage, and my friend Laura as well!! We have so many special memories from the day and Pastor Dave did a fabulous job teaching us about marriage!!

{Friday Favorites} - August 17

Wow.. It's been a long time since I've done a Friday Favorites session. Sorry about that. I have so much to share this week. Bare with me. 

1. New Washing Machine

I was so excited when we picked this up...It's not like your washing machines in the states... You have a wash/rinse tub and a spinning tub. Also you have to manual fill the tub with water...However, it washes our clothes and well!!! I have used it 4 times already this week!!

2. Watching my husband play soccer

Claudy is starting to fit so well into the community. The last couple of days he has been playing soccer in the village. This may potentially how youth group is started :) Please be praying for him!

3. New hair color...

I had a vote...and it was pretty even, so my husband won! I'm now a pretty brunette (dad, I know I'll always be a blonde at heart). I'm getting used to it again!! I was in shock for the first 2 days!

4. Teaching Claudy how to play cards.

My family loves to play games when we are together...The other night Claudy admitted to only knowing how to play one card game! So, he learned a new one!!

5. Visiting Maxo's school students...This is Cedine. I love her!!

School has been out all summer and I miss these kids...I'm excited for school to start in October, so I can see these children every week! 

6. Claudy made us lunch. To say I was surprised is an understatement!

To say I was shocked is an understatement. He came up stairs and told me he was making pate's. I'm not a huge fan of them, so I wasn't too excited...Yet when I tried his it was amazing!!

We just had a group of 20 arrive from Brazil last night. They are with us for two weeks!! We are excited, but they are very high energy. Pray we can have energy to keep up!!

{Wedding Wednesday} - The Wedding Party

We are blessed with the best family and the best friends!! The day would not have been near as special if there were not there :) Here are some of our favorite pictures with our favorite people.

IDENTITY - I know who I am

In the last couple of months my role has changed. I'm no longer just a friend or girlfriend. I'm a wife. Also, I'm no longer on the field alone, I'm a teammate. All things exciting...only this isn't my identity and I can proclaim that truth. I have been told, I've read it, I've believed it and I've seen it work itself out in my life. I am so much more than the things I do.

"I AM...
a CHOSEN RACE, a ROYAL PRIESTHOOD, a HOLY NATION, a PEOPLE FOR HIS OWN POSSESSION, that I may PROCLAIM the EXCELLENCIES of HIM who CALLED me OUT OF DARKNESS into HIS MARVELOUS LIGHT."

There are so many days in Haiti that I hurt for my fellow Holy Nation...for His People, for the women in Haiti. The women that don't know this and don't believe it. The women that find their identity in their parents, significant other, church, children, vodooism, etc...The list goes on. They are chained and in an identity crisis. My hearts desire is to see them free. For them to KNOW WHO THEY ARE!!

I'm excited for this new season. I now have more time to spend with these women. Please pray with me, that I can be a vessel that God will use to bring them out of darkness and into HIS marvelous light.

{Wedding Wednesday} - Couple Pictures

Here are some of our pictures as a couple. Kelly did such an incredible job!! We had so much fun. Now, if I can only decide which ones to blow up and put on canvas's. 

Thank you Gary and Marcia Greiner for letting us take pictures at your house and thank you grandma for letting us use your beautiful yard!!

Tune in Next Wednesday for some fun Wedding Party Pics!!!

{Wedding Wednesday} - The First Look

Due to our wedding being on a Friday, we had to have our rehearsal dinner Friday morning. Since we had already seen each other on wedding day, we opted to do pictures before the wedding and had a "First Look." Here are some pictures from those moments.

More next week!!